Kategori: What is coaching?

The Infinite Boundaries

When you hear the term “limitless boundaries,” what comes to mind?

How can boundaries be limitless?

It wouldn’t be right for me to answer the first question for you, but I can answer the second one. After all, I was the one who came up with the title of this article. 🤓

Just as we are all different, so are our personal boundaries, just like our perspectives. If we were all countries, and our boundaries were the borders of our countries, the shapes could be very different. 🗺  Some might have more rounded borders,while others might be defined by triangles. Like the concept of authenticity in coaching, this is a source of diversity and richness! I started this article with this idea in mind and drew a few shapes that came to mind. This picture, of course,expands further and fills with even more different shapes. ✨

I drew a few shapes that came to mind, even using different colors. The starting point for this article was actually a moment when I was drawing something else. 🌱 “I don’t like black limited drawings,” I said to the person opposite me. 💬 But I also love black,which is a mixture of all colors and light! Diversity doesn’t have to come from color.

There is only one right answer in this regard: everyone has their own healthy boundaries. ⭐️ Recognizing and respecting them are the keys to nonviolent communication.

So how can we see someone’s boundaries? 🚲

What they like and dislike, their routines, and how they express themselves are all indicators of their personal boundaries. 📍 When you look at it from this perspective, what are your boundaries? 💭What is their shape, color, and definition?  How do you reflect them for nonviolent and healthy communication? 🤓

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WHAT IS COACHING? LEARNING HOW TO WANT SOMETHING

Suppose you have a wish that reflects you from today to the future and you want it to come true. How would you want it?

It’s actually a very easy question to answer. It comes to my mind to share what I want or think about what I can do to reach by writing. However, there is a very important step that you must take in order for your request to be heard and fulfilled; to ask in the most clear and simple way. If you want two or more things at the same time, your wishes may not come true. When you want something, you must use singular expressions. For example “I want to accomplish this and that today.” is a complicated expression for wanting something. In such a case, you need to sort your request according to your priorities.

Why is it important to prioritize?

Prioritizing something clears your path. You can reach what you want in easier ways.

How can you set priorities?

“Which of these do I want first?” and “Which of these will get me exactly where I want to be?” questions like these will help you set priorities.

How does coaching relate to learning to want something?

Perhaps one of the most important duties of coaches during coaching is to inspire the coachee by asking open-ended questions and not setting directions. During the coaching, focusing on the main goal is very crucial .Thus, coachee’s destination point becomes easier to reach. Marlyn Atkinson talks about intention and mindfulness in one of her articles. Where the two meet, your wishes come true as you wished from the very beginning. (1)

How can you combine intention and attention?

It is very important to want something truly . The more you want something, the faster it will come true. Sometimes, we may perceive the wishes of other people, even those who are not real like movie heroes, as our own. At this point asking “Do I really want this?” question can be very helpful. The scale to which we want something constitutes the attention we pay. To give an example; If you and your friends are interested in a common subject, your friend’s wishes may seem like yours too. You may be listening or even singing the same songs because a friend of yours likes the singer.

Understanding where intention comes from is therefore very important. (2)

Additionally, Dr. Joe Dispenza makes an invaluable statement about intention. With intention, people create a photograph in their brains. The important thing here is that you become determined to live what you see in that photograph. In other words, maintaining your intention increases the possibilities. At this point, you need to transfer the feeling of completeness to your state of experiencing what you want and prove its reality to your subconscious mind. (3)

To wrap up the issue;

Learning how to want is something that I have personally experienced and an outcome that I want everyone to experience as well. Erickson Coaching has shown me the difference between really wanting something and assumption of wanting, in both coaching and coachee positions. Intention and attention are the most important factors for wanting something. When you combine these two, everything happens easily as you want.

(1) Aligning Intention and Attention to Achieve Dream Life, last updated on November 13, 2018, https://erickson.edu/aligning-intention-and-attention-achieve-your-dream-life

(2) Aligning Intention and Attention to Achieve Dream Life, last updated on November 13, 2018, https://erickson.edu/aligning-intention-and-attention-achieve-your-dream-life

(3) ”Dr. Joe Dispenza Defining Intention”, YouTube Video, 22:24, “ Rewire Me” , 2 November, 2015, https://youtu.be/WP1yPCLJ6_s

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What is coaching?

The world is changing and it has reflections on the dynamics of life. We live in a time that we can actually reach the stars and buy lands from Mars. The world is turning into an exciting place to live with the development of technology, economy, communication and science. The world we live in is full of innovation and development. There is not that much difference between small and big. (1) The only difference is how you use your rich resources.

If everything is so normal and almost equal, what can we do to take a strong step?

The 21st century is the best time for people to listen themselves. (2) Focusing on ourselves and understanding what we really want is the step that will take us the farthest. We can ask ourselves questions to align with ourselves. Awareness and integrity will bring us exactly to where we want reach.

What are the contributions of solution- focused coaching?

Solution-focused coaching is one of the areas that will provide tools for self-awareness and integrity. In fact, every behavior and belief is formed by the connection of neurons in our brain. New connections are formed everyday, creating new habits and choices. (3) Solution-focused coaching makes the position we want an accessible point with open-ended questions that will support us the most while these connections are being formed. I will share articles about the definition of coaching consisting of a few points with you. But speaking of coaching generally, Milton Erickson’s principles are one of the theories that describe coaching most clearly. Erickson explains how wonderful human beings are with 5 principles.

Principles;

People are OK:

Human beings everywhere are basically okay!

People have real resources:

They have many more resources than they know!

Every person has a positive intention:

Even if a positive intention is hidden, it can quickly be found.

People do their best:

They make their best choices each day with what they know about life so far.

Change is inevitable:

No matter how difficult, we learn, we grow, and we change. In this way, our acorn becomes an oak tree.

Marilyn Atkinson explains the principles in a way that will make you smile in one of her articles. If I write briefly; There are so many resources that you are unaware of, and there are ways to find those resources that you need less external resources than you think. (4)

What kinds of tools a solution-focused coach uses?

The only tool of a solution-oriented coach is powerful open-ended questions. By asking these questions to the coachee, coachee is being inspired to move forward. The only focus from start to finish is the coachee.

What is the general view of solution-focused coaching?

We live in an age where the world is changing rapidly and our self-awareness is one of the most important things. While developments in mechanization, technology and other fields offer us incredible resources; we should know ourselves better and use these resources in a way that will positively affect our personal development. While it may affect people negatively with the acceleration of mechanization, in order to overcome this, we should know ourselves well and make our choices. With solution-focused coaching perspective, we can see what we want from today to the future and move forward on our way.

(1) 21st Century Coaching Reality, son güncelleme 2018, https://theworldgame.org/en/21st-century-coaching-reality

(2) The Erickson Approach to Inspiring Change, son güncelleme 13 Mayıs, 2019, https://erickson.edu/erickson-approach-inspiring-change

(3) The Neuroscience of Behavior Change, son güncelleme 8 Ağustos, 2017, https://healthtransformer.co/the-neuroscience-of-behavior-change-bcb567fa83c1

(4) The Erickson Approach to Inspiring Change, son güncelleme 13 Mayıs, 2019, https://erickson.edu/erickson-approach-inspiring-change

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