There is a type of conversation mentioned in one of Marilyn Atkinson’s interview about the concept of world game with Fabian Luetzig that inspired me very much which is called “Yes, and”. I read about it a few years ago and started using it more often these days. Without further ado, I would like to tell you about this conversation.
What is “Yes, and”?
With this conversation people can approach the questions asked or the situations they encounter in a more constructive way. To give an example; if I ask your favorite color, you would name 3 of them. However in this type of conversation, you might add other colors that you will remember after saying the first three. This creates a more open and strong communication space for them. (1)
Who else talked about this conversation?
I was looking at other sources before I started writing this article. I found a resource that will enrich the topic. Tina Fey has a great book named “ Bossypants”. Part of the book featured an improvisation technique using this perspective. As I read the technique, I understood the conversation better. (2)
How does Tina Fey describe it?
According to Fey, “The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you’re improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created.” and she adds “the Rule of Agreement reminds you to “respect what your partner has created” and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you.
Second rule is adding something of your own to what you agreed. As an example,if I say “Be careful it is windy outside.” You can say “ Yes it is windy! Do you see the flag over there? I can’t see it’s colors.”
Third rule is making statements. This rule highlights the importance of being of the solution instead of the problem. To give an example; if you went to a restourant and waiters says that “ We don’t have the salad you asked.”, you have two options. You can either don’t eat anything and be hungry till you go home or ask another similar dish that will make you happy. (3)
While looking at additional resources , I came across another resource. This resource, unlike Fey’s improvisation technique, focused more on the business world. If I were to describe briefly, the listening to a thought without making assumptions makes value of the idea to be seen more. (4)
Putting all these into consideration, “Yes, and” reminds me of Don Miguel Ruiz’s “Be Impeccable With Your Word” agreement. To him, words are magical. (4) I also strongly agree with him. If we liken communication to a road, the words we use enable us to create the path exactly as we want. This perspective is not just magical, it shows your open perspective in communication.
(1)”Podcast: The World Game With Marilyn Atkinson”. Erickson Coaching International, 2019, https://erickson.edu/podcast-world-game-marilyn-atkinson
(2) Fey, Tina. Bossypants. Londra: Sphere, 2012
(3) Fey, Tina. Bossypants. Londra: Sphere, 2012
(4)”Why “Yes, And…” Might Be The Most Valuable Phrase In Business.”. Big Think, 2013, https://bigthink.com/experts-corner/why-yes-and-might-be-the-most-valuable-phrase-in-business
(5)Ruiz, Don Miguel. Dört Anlaşma Toltek Bilgelik Kitabı. İstanbul: Kuraldışı, 2017
Serra İspahani 